Welcome Back

I left off being a book junky. That is actually the point of this whole blogging thing. The other part of my dream is to write a book. I listen to CBC Radio and they talk all the time about people blogging, then turning them into books.
What I’m writing now is just a warm up of what is to come. I want to start writing my year from January 1, 2010 through to December 31, 2010.
I’m sure I’ll say all kinds of boring things with the hope that every once in a while a gem of something will sparkle through.
My life has been well lived with lots more to come. Still on my list is meeting Stephen King, he is my favourite writer of all times. I have all of his books and I am going to re-read them all when I am ninety as I am interested to see how I view them at that age. I read most of his early books in my teens and twenties. I have re-read Salem’s Lot and Insomnia already.
I just bought Under the Dome! It is 1,072 pages long and the best part is, there is no preview on the inside sleeve of the book cover. How cool is that! I am savouring the sight and smell of this book and saving the reading of it like you would your favourite cookie because once it is eaten it is gone. The second reading can be good but it is never quite the same as your first.
Another book that is re-readable, I have read it three times, is Wally Lamb’s “I Know This Much is True”. A wicked book about twins where one is a paranoid schizophrenic.
I have lots of books to read before I start my travels. I tend to buy lots of sale books at Chapters in January and February when they have really great books for five and ten bucks.
I have a quilt to quilt for Ryan and Rachel in January and I want to get Jennie-Lee and Leonard’s Snowman blanket finished before I fly away.
Mostly, I’ll try to keep as busy as possible purging stuff that will no longer fit into my new life. It is quite amazing how much stuff we can collect that has absolutely no meaning in our lives yet we hate to throw or give it away.
Yes, there are some things that I value like the ceramic Siamese cat my children gave me when they were young. I always said, one day I wanted to have a pair of Siamese cats, so for my birthday/Christmas present, one year they pooled their money and got me a beautiful Siamese cat statue. Another year they got me a gorgeous red china rose.
There are some things too valuable to be gotten rid of.
I got Dad the Susan Boyle CD yesterday. I listened to it on my way home from work, of course I had to make sure there was nothing wrong with it. That woman has an incredible voice.
She had the courage to live her dream!
Listening to her CD gave me an idea. I would like to collect the stories of ordinary women who have also lived their dreams. I think that would be a great inspirational book. So many people are afraid to do what they really want to do. They use all kinds of excuses; it costs too much, I have children, I have a husband, I can’t leave work, all the excuses that I used at one time or another. Until I promised myself that I would reach the end of this lifetime with no regrets.
I’ve carried my dream with me during the time I raised two children to adulthood, married and divorced twice, changed jobs too many times to count and survived the death of my mother.
It took me forty nine years to reach the point of now or never. Going into the second half of my life by living my biggest dream! Knowing, that if I didn’t do it now, I might not ever do it. I couldn’t live with that. I couldn’t die with that.

What Life is Meant For
Life is meant to live
Not just survive
Life is meant for joy
Not just sorrow
Life is meant for now
Not yesterday, nor tomorrow
Life is meant for love
Not for hate
Life is meant for everyone
Not just the chosen few
Life is meant for YOU!


I have lived a lot of my life waiting for things to happen to me. It took me a long time to realize that I was creating my life every day by just thinking the thoughts I was thinking.
That’s when it all started to change. I started to think new thoughts. Wonderful thoughts. Thoughts of a peaceful life with just me and my kids. Thoughts of abusive husband be gone.
It still took some time and decision making on my part. But what happened was, once I thought a more peaceful life, and took action toward that peaceful life, like moving out and finding my own place, then the Universe put everything in place for me so that it all went smooth as butter on a hot piece of toast.
It was scary and it took work to remember to think new thoughts everyday and I did fall back into the old patterns sometimes but each hour of each day of each year keeps getting easier. It is almost second nature to me now.
I’m going to call it a day for now and talk to you again tomorrow.
Remember, you’re a spiritual being, on an eternal quest, in a love-adventure you get to design. Do it your way!

I Dreamed a Dream Too

When I was thirteen I dreamed a dream of my own. I dreamed of going to England. That dream has never left me in forty nine years. So, for my fiftieth year on this earth I am going to live my dream. I am going to England.
In 1973 I used to read Harlequin Romances. In those days hand holding and kissing were risqué in books that weren’t porn. The romance stuff, girl meets boy, girl hates boy but girl falls in love with boy anyway, was all crap. I lived for the adventure of the places they traveled to. All the little villages on the coast of England where the wind blew and the town’s people were wary of strangers. Especially of strange young girls who fell in love with men they didn’t even like.
Some terrible thing always brought the young woman to these locations. Her boyfriend dumped her or she answered an ad to become a mail order bride or her company was downsizing and she was fired and went to live with her grandparents or she wanted a vacation but had no money.
All kinds of silly things brought these girls to some of the most beautiful countryside I have ever seen in my imagination.
The first time I saw it for real I was astonished at how perfectly it was described in these silly books and I fell in love with it all over again.
The beautiful green hills, the crashing waves, the cliffs overlooking miles of ocean and the lilting voices.
I watched every British movie I could get my hands on, even movies with British actors would do. I fell in love with Helen Miran, Hugh Grant, Alan Rickman, Emma Thomson and lots of other people I cannot remember the names of.
I don’t like Julia Roberts movies all that much but had to go see Knotting Hill, which takes place in London and stars Hugh Grant, in the theatre and struggled to stay in my seat. I wanted to run to the airport and grab the first plane to the love of my life.
Four Weddings and a Funeral is one of my all time favourites, there again with a silly American female lead. What’s up with that? England has lots of great actresses! I just can’t remember their names. I know I know it’s to get the Americans to watch these movies because they don’t have enough taste to watch good movies on their own.



Ode to England
England keeps calling me
I know not why
I hear her whisper my name
Why me I cry

She whispers louder
For me to come near
To walk on her earth
To breathe in her air

She is my mother
She is my soul
She is my daughter
She is my all

She’s calling louder now
No longer a whisper
Hurray, Hurray
Before I have missed her

I am coming dear England
Four short months to go
I will be in your arms
Standing on your shore.
I’m sitting at my desk listening to my radio, the good old local Sussex radio station that plays music even older then I am. I bet the local DJ hasn’t even heard some of the songs they play on this station. Writing my story, just like I used to in 1973. I had to write a story for English class in grade nine. I have no idea what the story was now I just remember my teacher writing on it that the ending was too unrealistic. Who wants reality from a ninth grader? I really hated the way teachers don’t allow kids to have an imagination. The world would be a hell of a lot better off if people lived a little less in reality and more in their imaginations.

I think that counts a rant number two. I have decided to come into the twentieth century and start a blog for my greatest adventure. Since I have never done one before I am going to start early. I want to keep a record of everything I do from January 1, 2010 to December 31, 2010. I want to be able to look back and see how it affected my life before, during and after.

My life has taken so many twists and turns and I always seem to come back to doing what I think I should be doing at whatever age I am at at that time.

For example, the spring after my Mum died I started traveling across Canada. I was forty four with two bad marriages under my belt, two grown kids who didn’t need a full time Mum anymore and I had just spent the winter with my Dad.

I got on the train in Moncton on my way to Winnipeg. My advice if you are going to travel that far on a train, get a sleeper!

I sat up until Montreal. Got off and spent the day with my cousin Neil and his then girlfriend, now wife, Ragnhild. My Aunt Doe was in the hospital recovering from a heart attack, she is still going and as full of spit and vinegar as ever, so Neil and I walked over to visit with her.

I was back on the train that night sitting up until Toronto where I got off long enough to change trains. Then I remained sitting up until I got to Winnipeg.

My oldest brother Andrew, who is ten years younger than me, lived in Winnipeg at the time. He is in the Military and was serving a term overseas in Bosnia or Croatia so I was staying with my sister-in-law Jodey, who was pregnant with twins and my niece, Aidin and nephew Jared.

I stayed there for three months then got out. I had a great time with the kids and I had been working in a gym there which was great, but I was not made to feel very welcome by my sister-in-law. I think she forgot that I was her husband’s sister or she didn’t care.

From Winnipeg I caught a bus and sat up all the way to Lethbridge, Alberta. My Mum’s oldest sister Aunt Edna lived there. I got to meet five of the six cousins. Cousin Jim was in Russia. I have no idea where he is now. Aunt Edna’s husband Uncle Steve was a crusty old fellow. We got along fine until I did not take a dislike to the family members that he didn’t like. He stopped liking me too. It didn’t bother me any but I felt bad for Aunt Edna.

I stayed in Lethbridge for three months, seems to have been my limit. The last night I was in town I decided to go to the little bar right beside the Video store I had worked at, and was the first job I ever got fired from because I was following the rules but no one told me that the boss’s friends were an exception. Anyway, I don’t remember the name of the Video store or the bar.

They had a live band playing, the bar not the video store, so I went in to have a listen. I sat at the bar and told the bar tender not to let my tab go over fifty dollars as that was all the money I had. I was used to paying per drink so I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep track of how much I was drinking.

I had a great time. The bar tender bought me a couple of shots. A couple of young fellows sat down and were buying drinks as well. I had so much fun I don’t remember leaving or walking back to Aunt Edna’s. I woke up the next morning with; you guessed it, the mother of all hangovers.

My first thought was that I didn’t remember paying my bar tab. I wasn’t able to check as I was catching a bus to Edmonton that morning. When I got the chance to check my bank account all my money was still there. The guys I had partied with had paid for all my drinks.

I fell in love with Edmonton. It was not love at first sight. I lived in St. Albert with yet another Aunt. This one was my Mum’s youngest sister Glenna. She and I got along really great. It was like having an older sister for me and her having a younger sister. Glenna was the youngest of ten and I was the oldest of five. Our most favoritest thing to do was to find new places to have desert. We went to a little Bistro on White Ave once where the desert and tea cost almost as much as a meal for two people. It was great!
I worked for Starbucks there, cannot drink Tim Horton’s coffee now, I am still a real Canadian, just a real Canadian who happens to like real coffee!

I worked for the first drive through Starbucks in St. Albert. There was only one other driver through Starbucks and it was on the outskirts of Edmonton as well.

On my days off I would take the bus into the city. The library was to die for. By the way, you pay for library cards in Alberta. About thirty bucks a pop. I have three, one from Lethbridge, one from St. Albert and one from Edmonton. To me they are worth every penny. I read ferousiously, if I am not surrounded by books at all times I will go into with drawl symptoms. I’m a book junky.